Sharing personal stories undoubtedly helps us connect with other people. But there is a fine balance between oversharing your life and building a bridge through our idiosyncrasies.
Why share personal stories?
Personal stories are simply that – a story to illustrate or explain an idea or position to your audience. It makes it more relatable and understandable. And we’ve always done this.
Looking back through advertising, there are personal stories or endorsements throughout it all.
Now, you could argue that endorsements are not really sharing a personal story. We are looking at this through a modern lens where we know that person is being paid to represent a brand. But it still works because we associate that person with the product. If we feel an affinity to the person, we feel an affinity to the product.
This is why user-generated content (UGC) performs so well when it comes to selling products. In fact, 4 out of 5 customers say that user-generated content has influenced their buying decisions.
If you can see yourself using a product or service then you are more likely to buy it. There is a level of authenticity and trust being created. I’ve purposefully used “authenticity” over “honesty” here as I think we easily confuse the two.
We want to see a product in a real-life situation but that doesn’t mean the image is “honest”. And I’ll come onto this in a moment.
So, if images that share their personal story are a big buying decision-maker, how much would sharing the person behind the business help?
Lifting the curtain
This is where authenticity and honesty come in. Normally, we are not buying into a product or service but into an idea about a lifestyle or feeling. We see pictures of happy children playing with a toy, we want our child to be happy so we buy that toy.
We see that big online coach going for coffee in the middle of the day, travelling, buying nice clothes and a fancy house. We want to have a business where we “sell in our sleep” and can afford to go out for coffee in the middle of the day.
All of these personal shares help create a picture of “what could be” if we bought their product or service. And while mostly this is their lives, they are only giving us a filtered peek behind the curtain when the lighting is right and the angles give us a better picture.
The truth is that were you to lift the curtain fully, you’d see a relatable jumble of working long hours, the same problems as the rest of us, and muddling through.
People only show their best side online
And this is nothing new. Look back at your family photo albums from before social media, you won’t see that tantrum or the mess. You’ll see everyone lined up, posing with happy smiles on their faces. We want to remember and document the good stuff. We want to share the good stuff.
This is where it comes to the fine line between sharing stories to connect with people and oversharing because social media has changed the landscape of what’s acceptable to share.
We can name and shame that person who wronged us, we can say we’re having a crappy time, we can put all our faults on the table and it will get comments and likes. That doesn’t mean we should.
The art of the personal share is this:
A story that becomes relatable to your customer and can illustrate or explain an idea or experience to them in an emotional way.
You need personal stories so that your audience, followers and customers can connect with you. But you need to do them with care.
Sharing what’s going on in your home and daily life is not going to add anything to your marketing. Yes, it’s probably deeply relatable that you’ve had an argument with your partner or you were stuck in traffic and late for a meeting but it’s not helpful for your customers.
Instead, craft the story with your customers in mind. For example, there have been many posts on LinkedIn of people sharing their version of 5am. And by people, I mean mothers of young children.
It started with one woman saying she didn’t realise how hard it was and “sorry for ever judging women at work” but how we work needs to change and here are some people helping make that change happen. Then more women posted their 5am stories. And it was powerful to see.
None of them shared beyond what was necessary to show their employers in a good light. That was the crux of their posts – work for someone who can support your home life as well as your work.
It was also a lovely antidote to all the 5am bros who get up, work out, meditate, do three hours of work before anyone else and are winning at life. I suspect their wives don’t feel as though they are winning quite so much with all the childcare on their shoulders but that’s for another day.
How can you do this as a business owner?
The easiest way is to share your hobbies and interests. Using myself as an example here:
- I’m vegan – it connects me with people who share similar values
- I do karate and run – it connects me with others who do these sports
- I have kids – this connects me with other parents
- I’m a cat person – anyone who had a video call with me has met one of my cats.
- I like heavy metal – this definitely connects with other music fans.
I’m not sharing anything beyond surface anecdotes and these are to either labour a point or reach out to people who are on my wavelength.
Every week in this newsletter I try to share something that’s going on in my life so that you, dear reader, can feel like you know me a little better. Then you might want to come to one of my workshops or have a virtual brew. It’s easier to book a call with someone when you feel like you know them.
And I’ve spoken to many people on this list over a virtual brew. A bit of a catch-up, finding out what’s happening in business and life. I’ve also had some lovely conversations over email and LinkedIn. This wouldn’t happen if I didn’t share some of what I do when I’m not sitting at my laptop.
Share the anecdote as a lesson
Running is a great way to do this. You train for a big event and you learn a whole lot about your capabilities along the way. There is a lot of “mind over matter” taking place. This can create some nice analogies for any product or service you provide.
If you’ve done something like gone to watch a fireworks display, been to a big event, had a great conversation with someone, think about how it could be helpful for your audience.
For example, last weekend was an opportunity to share how staring lovingly at the night sky to watch fireworks can help you realise how much we need to be outside and mindful of our spaces. Or be present in the moment for family time. Then think about how your product or service helps you do that. You don’t need to shoehorn it in at the end, make it part of the story.
Or make the anecdote funny
Nothing helps you connect more than making the anecdote funny. Whether it’s laughing at yourself, your situation or finding humour in life, comedy sells.
Janine Coombes posted this relatable post about going to a comedy course. And if you want more examples of how comedy can help your brand, go and check out the brilliant Brands and Humour newsletter by Paddy Gilmore.
What I implore you not to do is:
- Overshare the minute of your life – always think “why should they care?”
- Name and shame – it’s not a good look
- Complain – also not a good look
- Share for the sake of sharing – consider how anything adds value or entertainment for your followers.
I mean, we’ve all been guilty of a little online rant from time to time. It happens. Just start learning how you can angle those rants to be a bit more useful.